


A Magical Baking Disaster

by exohousewarming



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Baking, Crack, M/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-07 14:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12235140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exohousewarming/pseuds/exohousewarming
Summary: Author:sunnyyellow55 (LJ)Prompt number:673Side Pairings (if any):Chen/BaekhyunWarnings:NoneSummary:Yixing is a wizard who who loves baking so much that he makes many of his magical products look like pastries, something his non-magical boyfriend falls foul to on multiple occasions.





	A Magical Baking Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> **Author Note:** Even though this prompt was one of last year’s prompt, I hope one the prompter will somehow find out about this will be able to read this story one day. This is a lighthearted crack story. I hope you readers would like it! Thank you again for EXO Housewarming for hosting this domestic au fest!

Yixing was a wizard. Yixing really loved baking. It was inevitable that his magical products would be shaped into baked goods. He thought it was quite cute.

Kris was not a wizard. Kris loved eating baked goods, especially the one Yixing baked. It was inevitable that he would encounter Yixing magical products. He thought it was a disaster.

The first incident happened a few weeks after Yixing and Kris first started dating. Kris was at Yixing’s place helping him out with Halloween decorations (though it rather late since it was the day of Halloween). Even though Yixing could technically decorate the whole house inside out with a flick of a wand, he insisted in good old fashion decorating; he told Kris it was way more fun, and they could spend more time together. Well, Kris couldn’t argue with that.

“Hey Kris, help me get the pumpkin inflatable from the storage room okay?” Yixing asked while feeding Kris a mini brownie. With the sweet chocolate melting in his mouth, Kris happily obliged. Yixing really was an amazing baker Kris thought.

Meanwhile, Yixing was baking special magical pumpkin shaped cookies for the trick-or-treaters. As being the only wizard in town, kids loved coming over to get special treats for Halloween. This year, Yixing decided to make cookies that once eaten, one would sprout rabbit ears! He thought it was cute, especially for the little kids who would pass by.

Kris looked at Yixing’s little cottage with great admiration. He couldn’t believe that the enormous black spiders hanging from the windows, the scarecrows with creepy smiles poised at the entrance, the giant glowing pumpkin that imposed its territory in front of the yard, and the infinite cobwebs that infiltrated every corner was all his remarkable doing; it was perfect. Kris eyed the neon orange pumpkin shaped cookies that Yixing had left out on a small table outside the front door. He deserved one after all that work, he thought as he grabbed one and went into the house to find Yixing. Kris wanted to show him his the decoration of perfection.

The cookie was by far one of the best cookies he had ever eaten (though it had a slightly bitter aftertaste). He munched happily. Unexpectedly, the pleasantries didn’t last as Kris suddenly felt something growing out of both sides of his head. 

He reached up. They were furry. He rushed to the restroom. They were ears. Fluffy white and pink bunny ears. Kris screamed.

It didn’t help one bit when Yixing came running to Kris’s side to see what had happily only to burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

“This is not funny,” Kris said through gritted teeth.

“You…you…so cute!” Yixing just couldn’t stop laughing.

“How. Long. Does. This. Last?”

Fortunately for Kris, the spell only lasted for about three hours. However, much to Kris’s unrelenting embarrassment, Yixing insisted Kris join him in giving out candies to the kids who passed by.  Yixing claimed Kris was the perfect example to show the children the results of the cookie potion. Secretly, Yixing just wanted to show off how cute his boyfriend was, even if it was to little kids.

Kris grudgingly agreed. 

Kris thought Yixing’s baked shaped potion projects were a one-time thing, for the holidays or special events like Halloween. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

It had been quite a while since the bunny ears incident, and Kris had almost forgotten all about it. March had already past, Kris noted as he settled down on the checkered picnic rug. Today was the beginning of April, the start of spring. He was over at Yixing’s little cottage helping out with the garden. Since Yixing was a wizard, he was always in need of a lot of herbs such as sage, rosemary, chervil etc. for his spells and potions. Afterwards, they settled down for a picnic on a patch of cool grass. Yixing handed Kris a vanilla cupcake with pink and purple frosting. “Oh! I almost forgot the pink lemonade. I’ll be right back.”

Kris contentedly sat on the ground eating the delicious cupcake and enjoying the magnificent weather. It really was a beautiful day. A gentle breeze blew between the blades of grass, flickering the leaves against the branches. The sky was painted a soft blue with fluffy clouds rolling along in an assortment of shapes.

Suddenly Kris’s world was spinning, his vision blurred, his senses numbed; he had dropped his cupcake. Next thing he knew, he was sniffling a giant wall. A red and white wall. He turned away from the wall, feeling the coarse hard texture under his feet. Red and white floors.

Kris grasped his situation. The red and white floor must be the picnic blanket, and the red and white wall must be part of the blanket that got folded upwards. He must have shrunk somehow. He tried looking at his hands. He couldn’t lift them up. He looked down. He saw paws and fur instead.

Yixing found Kris frantically scrambling around the picnic blanket. He tried his hardest to hide the stifle of laughter that was threatening to come out. With well-feigned innocence Yixing looked around, surprised. “Kris, where did you go?” He exaggeratedly looked down. “Oh my!  A hamster? How did you end up here? You’re such a cute little thing!” Yixing gently picked him up. “Hmm, since Kris’s gone somewhere, I’ve better take care of you instead.”

Though Yixing’s calm and steady strokes through Kris’s matted fur felt so good, Kris stopped short. Why wasn’t Yixing looking for him if he suddenly disappeared? Shouldn’t he be more worried?

“Don’t worry fluffy. I got your new home all ready and set!”

Yixing felt the tiny hamster frantically scrambling in hands; he almost let out a snicker. “Don’t worry little one, I’ll make sure you’ll be comfy. I promise!”

By this time, Kris was really panicking. What if he had to live a life as a hamster forever? Locked in a cage, running around on a hamster wheel, never ever getting to eat any more of Yixing’s delicious baked goods?

“Look! Your new home!” Yixing excitedly showed Kris the Hamster an already prepped hamster cage, equipped with newspaper bedding, water and food bowls, and the glorious hamster wheel.

A well-prepared cage? Wasn’t that a bit convenient? Kris didn’t remember Yixing having an interest in hamsters or any small pets of the like. A wild thought came over to him. It couldn’t be. That delicious cupcake…Kris promptly bit Yixing’s thumb.

“Ouch Kris! That’s not nice!”

If hamsters could vehemently glare, that was exactly what Kris was doing.

Yixing realized his mistake. Nervously, he carefully slipped Kris into the cage. “Now don’t be mad at me Kris. It was a joke! A prank! You know, since today’s April’s fool. I thought maybe, maybe we’ll get a laugh out of this.

That certainly didn’t stop Kris from full-on glaring, straight into that trickster’s guilty eyes.

“Well, here’s the antidote.” Yixing quickly put a small pink and blue macaroon into the cage. “take a bite and you’ll turn immediately back into your good old self. Kris hesitantly took a bite and was just about to chew it when…

Yixing frantically grabbed him. “Actually not in there…”

Kris almost didn’t make it.

The first time Yixing asked Kris for help with the process of potion making ended up as a terrific disaster.

“Look Kris! My new invention!”

“What is it?” Kris peered over his book, _Growl the Wolf Monster_ (it was a delightful book about a wolf falling in love with a girl, failing to eat her like simple cheese). He was a bit suspicious over Yixing’s over-enthusiastic tone.

“It’s a new moisturizing cream.” Yixing showed him a very delicious, moist looking whoopie pie.

Kris immediately closed his book and promptly started to back away.

Yixing caught his sleeve. “Oh come on, Krissy! Please help me by trying this out and seeing if this works.”

“Oh no, this is not one of your stupid baked shaped potions is it?”

“My potions aren’t stupid! They’re useful!”

Kris felt a bit guilty looking at Yixing’s hurt face. “Alright. Alright. I’ll try it for you. What am I suppose to do?”

Yixing’s face immediately lit up. “As I said, it’s a moisturizing cream. Split the whoopie pie in half like you would do with an Oreo. The vanilla cream is an exfoliant cleanser. Gently rub it evenly all over your face, and instantly all the dead skin on your face will be gone. Your pores will be cleared out too. Then eat the chocolate cookie part, and in a few seconds upon consumption, the position will capture the moisture on your face, hydrating it and leaving your face all smooth and soft. Now, won’t you try it? I know skin care is super important to you.”

Kris couldn’t help but think that if Yixing wasn’t a wizard, he could have been a fine salesman. He inspected the whoopie pie, still a bit suspiciously.

“You’ll eat delicious chocolate and smell like vanilla cream! Best of both worlds right?”

Kris was lifting the pastry to his mouth but stopped in the uttermost misgivings upon hearing the desperate persuasion in Yixing’s voice.

“Why can’t you try it out yourself?”

“Well silly, if I try it and the potion fails, how am I suppose to create the antidote if something happens to me?

Kris did not like the sound of that.

“But…”

“Just eat it!”

With Yixing’s sudden outburst, Kris obediently obeyed. He carefully followed Yixing’s instructions, spreading the cream evenly on his face and eating the cookie. Within seconds, Kris’s face felt clean and refreshed.

Kris turned and glanced into Yixing’s expecting gaze with a small smile. “It really worked. I admit it; my face already feels amazing.”

Yixing burst into smiles. It was worth the countless hours of researching and experimenting trying to make it. Squealing in delight, he jumped up, hugging Kris. “I knew it would work! Thank you for trying it out. Thank you. Thank you!”

Though Kris didn’t fancy the idea of being a future experimental volunteer for Yixing’s little baking potion projects, seeing Yixing so happy made Kris feel so happy and satisfied. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

*     *  *

And maybe it was bad indeed.

It was a few hours after Kris had tried out the whoopie pie moisturizer when the side effects came.

Kris couldn’t tell what was worse, the hideously large red welts that decorated Kris’s face and hands, swelling them to two times the original size or the continuously horrible itching that was driving him crazy.

“What…what have you done to me?”

Yixing found Kris lying on the couch in this horrid sickening conditions. “When did this start to happen? I don’t remember seeing anything wrong when you first applied the cream.”

“Never mind that! Do you have an antidote?”

“No…”

Kris gave an exasperated sigh. “This is what I get for trying to help you.”

Yixing gave him a meek pat on the shoulder. “I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I really didn’t realize the potential side effects would be so bad.”

Kris grunted at the words of consolidation.

“But hey, you know, at least you still smell like vanilla cream right?”

Kris gave Yixing an unappreciated glare or whatever look it was since Kris’s eyes had been swollen to the point that it looked like the two humps of a camel’s back.

“Sorry. Sorry.” Yixing gave Kris a reassuring smile. “I’ll find an antidote soon. Meanwhile, let me make you a lot more comfortable. He brought Kris to his room and tucked him into bed. He then conjured up some cold towels (magical ones that always stayed at the same temperature) to sooth Kris’s itchy face and hands. He even cooked some chicken broth for Kris, as eating anything besides liquids with a puffed up face was a hassle.

“I hope you’re comfortable Krissy,” Yixing leaned over to kiss Kris on the forehead. I’ll be back soon. I need to find an antidote. Shout for me if you need anything.”

Looking at Yixing’s doting care for him, Kris couldn’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe all this wasn’t so bad. Kris opened his mouth to speak words of thanks, only to find that he couldn’t really with a swollen mouth.

He changed his mind. 

Kris never thought there would come a day when he would come to despise baby showers (and babies for all that had mattered).

It all started with that (Kris would personally have added stupid, despiteful, horrendous) pink and blue invitation. Its over excessive burst of bright color schemes followed with curvy round writing and the faint smell of baby powder made the whole affair seem a bit overwhelming and discerning.

“Ooh!” Yixing came running towards Kris squealing. “My high school besties Baekhyun and Chen are hosting a baby shower! This is so exciting!”

“Oh, are they having a boy or girl? When’s it going to be?”

“They’re not sure yet, but it doesn’t matter. Their baby’s going to be so cute! The shower’s going to be in three weeks from today, on the 27th. Oh my gosh! I have to hurry and think of what to make for the present!”

It seemed to Yixing that it was just yesterday since his best friends’ wedding. Yixing had first met Chen and Baekhyun in middle school; the three had instantly connected the moment they met each other. Though each went their separate ways after high school, they always kept in touch often. Who knew that Chen and Baekhyun would end up together? Yixing was delighted. As a special gift, Yixing had used his most advanced spells to create the couple’s wedding outfits. They even hired the aspiring artist, Seulgi (he had politely refused Kris’s offer to draw), to help Yixing visualize the outfits by drawing them out.

For Chen, Yixing created an elegant black prince suit attire with golden straps at the shoulder blades and a golden slash from the left shoulder blade to the right hip. For Baekhyun, Yixing made him a deep navy tailcoat. Its slim design created the perfect silhouette for Baekhyun’s figure. What was extra special about the outfits was that Yixing put a spell on the clothes so that every time the couple took a step, the clothes generated a soft halo of light making them glow ever so slightly.

The wedding was perfect. With great satisfaction, Yixing noted that the adoring couple looked fabulous. Yixing reminisced fondly with a hint of wistfulness. He hoped he could one day be as happy as those two; hopefully, it would be with Kris…

Yixing sighed again. He had a lot to think about. What could he give to his best friends’ future kid (which he knew he would grow very fond of)? What about toys? Clothes? Yixing quickly dismissed those ideas like smoke in the wind. He knew that the others would give the couple those materialistic things. Since Yixing was the only wizard they knew, he knew he had to be different. Instead, he turned to the two things he knew best: baking and magic. 

Yixing spent the next three days pondering and pondering what to make. Eventually, he made a donut potion that could turn a person into a baby. He thought that if he could think like a baby, then he could figure out the best present to give.

A sudden thought came to him. Perhaps, he could ask Kris to try…no. Yixing quickly discarded the idea. He already promised Kris to not use him for any more experiments after that disastrous moisturizer incident.

Sighing Yixing set the donut potion on a plate next to a plate full of freshly baked snickerdoodle cookies that were used to be snacked on when Yixing got hungry. Unconsciously grabbing one or two cookies, Yixing headed out to the garden to gather a few herbs. If he were to try out the potion himself, he had better find an antidote first.

Unknowingly to Yixing, Kris was coming over for a surprise visit. He was so excited; he had painted his most magnificent masterpiece yet. It was a glorious drawing of a crocodile. He really loved how he drew the exquisite humps of the crocodile by the criss cross of the lines. He must indeed be the next Picasso. Yixing once asked him why he spent so much time on this particular hobby. He plainly replied, with an ever so slight hint of exasperated overconfidence, “I draw because I am very talented at drawing.”

Kris quietly went through the front door (Yixing had long ago given him the keys) and quietly slipped into the Yixing’s room only to find the room unoccupied. Kris was about to leave to look for Yixing when something caught his eye. Next to the pile of snickerdoodle cookies was a perfectly glazed donut: the exact circumference complemented with the precise amount of sugar that was glazed on top of it, and the smell… Oh the smell was like the first breath of spring. Fresh and delicious. Kris’s mouth was watering.

It must be the last donut Kris thought. He didn’t think much since he knew Yixing often baked treats to snack on. The little craving in Kris sprouted up. It just looked too enticing. He couldn’t resist.

He took it. Bit into the warm soft stickiness. It was worth it. That last donut.

It didn’t take long for Kris to regret eating the donut when his world spun, his vision fogged up, and he found himself in the world of giants again. However, it didn’t take Kris long to figure what he had turned into this time. The grubby hands. The stubby legs. The bald head with a patch of fuzz. He had turned into a baby! A gooey slobbering creature! Confounded, Kris sat on the floor in a daze, head over heels of his predicament. 

Fortunately a few minutes later, Yixing came back to his room with a basket full of freshly picked herbs only to find a one-year old baby on the floor next to his desk. Upon hearing Yixing come in, the baby turned around to face him. “Gah! Goo!”

Yixing glanced at his desk at the now empty plate. His eyes wandered onto the mysterious painting next to the plate. Was that suppose to be a bird? His mind buzzing, Yixing quickly figured out what possibly could have had happened.

“Oh no. No. No. No. Kris, is that you? Please tell me it isn’t.” Yixing prayed that some mysterious divine force had decided to gift him a baby. Though he had to admit, baby Kris was so cute.

“Gah! Ree Leh Rah!” Suddenly upon “talking,” the baby’s face contorted into a slightly puzzled look.

Kris realized that he was speaking in gibberish. He couldn’t explain to Yixing what had happened. His inability to do what he could use to do had left him quite irked. His frustration was growing though he could not pinpoint why. That, however, was natural. After all, his current thought capacity was that of a baby’s. Abruptly, Kris became irritated and hot. He wanted to be picked up and not be on the floor anymore. However, how could he tell his needs to his beloved Yixing?

He did the only thing babies knew what to do. He opened his mouth and hollered. An ear splintering wail that would have brought the sound of nails on chalkboard to shame. It was indeed a welcoming sound to get anybody’s attention.

“Oh Kris! Stop crying!”  Yixing quickly picked him up. “What do you want?”

But it was too late. The gates of Hell had been opened. Yixing decided right there and then that Kris as a baby with the angry look on his face and the boiling red head, as bright as a ripened tomato, was not cute. Not cute at all.

This began Yixing’s week-long expedition of parenting: the fussing, the pampering, and good lord, the crying. It was an absolute nightmare.

Though Kris could think advanced thoughts, he couldn’t necessarily comprehend the situation completely from within a baby’s perception. Yixing had to constantly look for Kris to make sure Kris didn’t get into trouble like falling off chairs or crawling into tight spaces. Because of this, Yixing never got any sleep. If Kris was finally asleep, Yixing was cracking a cold one with the spell books; Yixing was eager to quickly find an antidote to this whole mess. Though there were plenty of books that showed spells to “make a baby,” none showed how to “un-baby” a baby, so he had to spend countless hours trying to come over with an antidote.

Before Yixing successfully made an antidote, he came up with a baby translator which translated Kris’s gibberish into something understandable.

“Kris I have something for you!”

Kris turned to Yixing with expectant eyes. Yixing gave him a mini apple strudel, but before Yixing could say anything, Kris put it in his mouth. Kris just couldn’t wait to become an adult again.

Though there wasn’t any of the usual world spinning, vision fogging business, Kris was too excited to care. He was back to normal! He stood up, jumping of joy. “Ah! I can finally talk…”

Kris couldn’t finish his sentence because he landed flat on his face. He had the same grubby hands, the stumpy legs, and the bald head with a patch of fuzz. Kris couldn’t comprehend. How is he still a baby? He ate the potion…

“Kris if you had let me have the chance to explain, I would have told you, this is a baby translator. I wasn’t able to come with the antidote, yet.”

When any kid’s expectation which had risen too high, had been broken, they fall temporarily into slight utter despair. Kris started to cry a tear-jerking sob. Yixing’s heart tugged. He kneeled down and gathered Kris into his arms. “Don’t worry Kris, I’ll find the antidote soon. I promise.”

Despite the initial misgivings, the baby translator helped out a lot. Kris and Yixing could finally properly communicate. It took a lot of stress off of Yixing, though hearing Kris in a high pitched pre-puberty voice was rather discerning. 

After a week long of extreme suffering of the trails and tribulations of parenting, Yixing finally found an antidote to turn Kris back to his good old self. Yixing had to admit, he learned a lot about being a parent (like one doesn’t have a life anymore or that diapers are saviors since babies really don’t mind pooping or peeing anywhere). He sincerely hoped he needn’t have to experience this misery again anytime soon. 

However, this incident was not all loss without gain. Yixing finally learned enough about babies and parenting to figure out what to give to Chen and Baekhyun. The worst part of parenting was definitely all the crying; it could give anyone a headache. Though Kris had the brain of an adult, he still thought like a baby; crying was simply a baby’s natural mannerism.

He came up with a baby temperate potion. Once one puts the coco scone into the crying baby’s mouth, it would melt and immediately cause the baby to calm down and in some cases, even fall asleep. Though Yixing hoped Chen and Baekhyun’s baby would have an excellent pair of lungs, Yixing knew this would be the perfect present for the couple. Of course he knew; after all, he was an ex-parent!

“Yixing we need to talk.”

Ah, the dreaded request that all couples hate to hear. Yixing was in the middle of preparing to bake a cherry pie when Kris came over, looking all enigmatic and serious. Yixing set the measuring cup down and went to sit on the chair across Kris. Yixing was nervous; it was the day after the baby shower, and the baby incident was still fresh on both of their minds. Did Kris have enough of all these baking mishaps? Could he be horrified that Yixing was a wizard that can’t keep his magic together? Did he disprove of Yixing’s love of baking and magic? This couldn’t be a breakup scene, right? The solemn atmosphere, the grave face, and the distance of dining table between them only made Yixing’s irrational thoughts sprout ever more.

“Do you think you can perhaps, put a sign or something on all the magical baked goods you make so I don’t make a mistake like that again? I can’t tell them apart. They look exactly like food.”

Yixing internally let out the breath he was holding. All the nervousness went away; he sort of wanted to cry in relief. “Of course! I guess I can place a note next to the magical potions so that you’ll know. Actually, if you’re a wizard, it’s relatively simple to tell the difference between the difference the two. Sometimes it’s an obvious sign like the pastry will start to glow. Regular people will see the colors as neon bright. But yes, I will put a placard so that no one will get mixed up anymore.

Kris smiled, “thank you for understanding. I really didn’t want to end up as a mess again.” He stood up, walked over and kissed Yixing on the forehead. “I see that you were making something. Sorry for interrupting you, I didn’t mean to. You probably will want to get back to that.”

Yixing stood up, beaming. Grabbing Kris’s hand, “come on! Let’s do make it together. I promise that you won’t turn into anything this time.” He led Kris into the kitchen to continue their (hopefully nonmagical) baking adventures together.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

>         Hello dear readers! Thank you for reading my little short story about Yixing and Kris’s magical baking adventures (disasters haha); I hope you liked it. I guess here are some of my thoughts about the story.
> 
>         Originally, it was going to be a bit longer and a bit more detailed. I planned to at least name-drop all OT12 members in here, but I only ended up adding Baekhyun and Chen. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll revisit this story and add the originally planned scenes and add everyone in EXO in here.
> 
>         I hope you had a good laugh out of this story. I know it probably became less and less funny as the story went on (I felt it lost some of its humor along the way), but I hope you at least cracked a smile while reading it. I realized it’s rather hard to write crack stories since it’s suppose to be crazy, weird, funny but still make sense. Haha, maybe I’m not making any sense anymore.
> 
>         As for the actual EXO references, yes I had a few. Did you catch all of them? Did I really just put in “Kris peered over his book, Growl the Wolf Monster?” Yes, yes I did. I wanted to reference their songs somehow. I do admit it though, it was kind of lame. *laughs* Also, if you check out EXO-K’s Wolf’s lyrics, they really do describe trying to eat the girl like a piece of cheese; I thought it was so funny, I had to put it in my story.
> 
>         The Kris drawing reference, ah, I had a fun time revisiting Kris, the next Picasso, artistic moments. While revisiting videos and pictures of Kris and EXOs’ drawings I stumbled upon a quote he said to his fan “Sometimes I draw because I am very talented in drawing.” I thought that was hilarious. Kris is really a special snowflake. To be honest, I really don’t think anyone in EXO can draw so I added, Red Velvet’s Seulgi into my story. In real life, she’s a really cool artist! I saw her art design on clothing, and I thought she would be the perfect artist in my story.
> 
>         I hope you enjoyed reading my story and once again, thank you for reading it!


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